Superboy and the Invisible Girl
He's a hero, a lover, a prince
She's not there
Dear Diary,
I used my hand to block the intense sunlight from my eyes as I scanned the picnic area for Xavier. He said he’d meet me here yesterday, but it wasn’t the first occasion he had decided that someone else was more worth his time. I heard a twig snap above my head, so I looked up. Lying precariously on one of the upper tree branches of the old oak was Xavier. Book in hand, he was tuning out the entire world. Breeze got his hair and blew it in front of his eyes, so he blew it out of the way. He looked so peaceful. He looked... godly.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone coming up on my left. I turned and smiled at Thomas, but he took no notice. His eyes were glued directly on Xavier. I turned around and I noticed that this was a trend. Olivia, Charles, Artemis, Oliver, Melody, even Alice, they were all gawking at Xavier.
“Bloody hell, you guys are pathetic!” I exclaimed and clenched my fists.
“What?” Thomas said, snapping to attention. I sighed and shook my head, running back to my dormitory.
What Xavier had said about Thomas liking guys ran through my head. I resisted the urge to just scream “But you’re supposed to like me, god-dammit! Not him! Everybody loves him.” I know it’s petty, and I don’t even know if Thomas likes me, but I just wanted somebody to not fall for him.
If you were friends with Xavier Beckingham, you’d understand. Even the people who find him to be a disgusting person would sleep with him. Meanwhile, I’ve taken the role of “side kick”. I’ve become a stock character. I’ve faded away into him.
I closed the door of my dorm room and collapsed on the ground. I grabbed the bag of Twizzler’s from under my bed. A remnant from the eating disorder days. I finished off the entire bag in less than five minutes and wrapped my arms around my knees. I felt sugar coursing through my veins. It didn’t feel good, per say. But it felt... familiar.
I heard a knock on my door and let out a sob. I hadn’t even noticed that I’d been crying. Standing up, I brushed myself off and answered the door.
“I told you to meet me in the picnic area,” Xavier huffed moodily and entered into my room.
“Fuck you,” I shot back.
“Please,” he sneered and turned to face me. The sneer fell off his face and, for a second, he looked like he was genuinely concerned. “Are you okay?” he murmured, wrapping his arms around me.
“Don’t touch me.” However, I made not move to push him away.
“What’s wrong, bug?” he whispered into my ear.
“You! You’re what’s wrong”, I exclaimed half-heartedly. “I don’t want you in my life anymore. I want someone to look at me for a change when we walk into a room.” I buried my face in Xavier’s shirt.
“I look at you,” he offered and hugged me tighter. “And I think I’d die if you left me.”
“No,” I whispered. “You wouldn’t.”
“Is this Thomas?” Xavier suddenly exclaimed angrily. “Do you want to go off and be his perfect, little girlfriend?”
I shook my head. “Good,” Xavier mumbled. “Promise me you won’t leave me to rot here?”
“What?” I asked, suddenly confused by the direction this conversation was taking.
Xavier let me go and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He was clearly uncomfortable. “Are we a “we”? Because I think we are. I think we’re an “us.” I mean, obviously we’re not a very good “us”, because I still fuck anything that moves.”
“And I’m okay with that,” I reminded him.
“And if you liked Thomas you could go out with him,” he assured me. “But I still want to be an “us”. An open “us”, but an “us” no less.”
“We can be whatever pronoun you want us to be,” I laughed. “I think that might be the first relationship talk you’ve ever had to have.”
“Does “Don’t call me, I’ll call you” count as a relationship talk?” Xavier smirked.
I smiled to myself. I know that my original point wasn’t even discussed, Diary, but... He needs me. He cares about me. And none of those other people can say that. So maybe everybody loves him and I fade into the background. The people I need to care about me care.
This seemed to go by quickly but you know, not every issue takes months to resolve. Xavier is a big boy now! Talking about relationships and whatnot. And it is true. Everyone and their grandmother loves Xavier. I like this entry because it shows how mature Xavier can be. Yeah, he thinks maturely, but here he is, actually caring for someone else. And we've already establish these two are very close, but it's always refreshing.
ReplyDeleteOh I know. Everybody and their grandmother would tap that. And I felt like this entry was nessecary because how odd the relationship between Xavier and Marie-Claire is. It's a very, very odd functional relationship.
ReplyDeleteAnd I felt bad for Marie-Claire because my upcoming plotline is very Xavier centric, so I had to give her her dues.