Why Does It Rain, Rain, Rain Down On Utopia?

The past few weeks of my life have been perfect. I've been happy. I've been doing well in school. I've got great friends. I didn't have anything to worry. I guess I was blinded by happiness when I didn't realize that something bad would have been coming up.

I'm not sure if I would have expected this but I should have expected something. I could have seen it coming, I could have been aware. I would have been able to stop this. I guess it's just my fault then, isn't? I was so naive not to expect this. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.

I guess I should fill you in, diary.

Yesterday morning, Oliver came knocking.

"It's such a nice Saturday," He said. "We should go do something."

"Well I've been meaning to go shopping for a while." I told him. "Would you like to join me?"

"I would be delighted, Ms. Genevieve," Oliver replied. I grabbed my purse and laced my arm through Oliver's.

We went down to the shoe store where Oliver helped me pick out a cute pair of flats. The right shoe had a pretty red rose crocheted into it. The yellow center seemed to burst out of the red, creating a bright golden color. They were made of a slightly itchy canvas fabric but they still looked great on my feet.

After a few more stops in various stores, Oliver and I stopped from lunch. We stopped at a cute little cafe called "Le Cafe de Soleil". The Sun Cafe. We sat outside in the bright sun, fitting for the cafe. The chairs were a black eetal, twisted into beautiful pictures of leaves and flowers. The table matched, the white napkins shining out against the black metal.

I ordered a salad while Oliver ordered a sandwich. It didn't take long for a food to arrive. It was usually quick, actually. My salad was cool and refreshing. It was perfect for the day.

"So," I began. "Why don't you like Thomas?"

"That little tosser?" Oliver retorted. "He's so naive and boring."

"Really?" I asked. "He's really a sweet guy. I thought you would have liked him."

"Ha!" He spat. "I still can't believe my dead even let that pauper into the school."

"He's an amazing violinist." I told Oliver. "He's first chair in the school orchestra. It's almost as if he's too good for first chair." My orchestra teacher loves Thomas. She wants to smother him to death. I used to be her favorite. But I don't blame her for loving Thomas because he's so adorable.

"Sound the trumpets! Alert the media! Organize a parade! Let's celebrate! Thomas is first chair in a school orchestra!" Oliver said sarcastically. "Whoop-di-fucking-doo."

"Is there another reason why you hate him?" I prodded.

"If I told you, you'd laugh at me." Oliver replied, suddenly sounding vulnerable.

"I wouldn't laugh. If you hate him this much, it's got to be serious." I informed Oliver.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" Oliver asked.

"I swear I won't."

"Well, it's quite obvious that Xavier has taken an interest in Thomas." Oliver returned. "And I've taken an interest in Xavier."

"Xavier will get over Thomas soon enough. Once he's corrupted the poor bloke, Xavier won't give him another glance."

"It's going to take a long time to corrupt Thomas."

"Don't worry. You're an interesting guy. Once Xavier is done with Thomas, I'm sure you'll catch his eye next."

"I guess."

Once we finished lunch, Oliver told me he had to go back to the dorm to finish a paper. He asked if I wanted to return with him, but I answered no. I still had shopping to be done.

I headed to a dress shop near the cafe. I had an extra few hundred dollars I could spend, so why not get a dress? After half an hour and finding disappointing dress after disappointing dress, I came across my soulmate. It was a bright red baby doll dress. The top was strapless and had a beautiful pattern float across it. A red fabric belt split the top and the bottom and smooth and shiny.

When I tried it on, I looked gorgeous and mature. The fabric felt soft and silky on my skin and the absence os straps enhanced the dress. The top was a little tight but I felt like it was a perfect fit anyway.

I paid for the dress and decided it was time to go back to Inglefield. As I walked down the street, police cars and ambulances sped past me. I remember the annoying sirens whirring down the road, annoying me the entire.

I finally reached the destination of the emergency vehicles. At an intersection was a large crash involving at least five cars. People were crowding around the scene and I knew there was no way I was going to get through the chaos. I decided to take a different route. It was longer but it was definitely less crowded and more peaceful.

As I walked along the empty streets, I thought about Oliver. At that moment in time, his relationship issue was the most drama I had in my life. I like Thomas a lot but I've been friends with Oliver since I was a little kid. So of course I wish him well in his pursuits of Xavier. But i hope Xavier doesn't ruin Oliver's life. Xavier's not a straight laced school boy.

Abruptly I was wrenched from my thoughts when a cloth was shoved over my nose and mouth. An arm wrapped itself tightly around my arms. I tried to struggle but the fumes of some unidentifiable chemical on the cloth were making my world fuzzy and making it harder for me to fight back. Soon, I closed my eyes and fell unconscious.

When I woke up, I was in a shabby apartment bedroom. The dingy wallpaper was peeling off the walls and the small window barely let any light in. There was one bedside table, one chair and the bed I was on. My arms and legs were tied to the posts on the bed. The ropes rubbed my wrists and ankles raw every time I struggled. There were two doorways. One to the main room. The second door was closed.

I realized I felt extremely cold and when I looked down at my body, I saw that I was naked. I wanted to shriek and vomit at the same time. Panic began to rise within. Who had taken me? Where was I? What would happen to me?

The second door opened the slowly and a man stepped out of the room behind the door. He was tall and lean. He, too, wasn't wearing any clothes. I knew what was going to happen. There wasn't an escape. This man had obviously locked his eyes on me. I wanted to scream but my mouth wouldn't open. Every part of me was paralyzed and I was left helpless.

The man had blue eyes and black hair. He was pale with a square jaw. His expression looked cold and emotionless.

He crawled on top of the bed next to me. My heart beat faster with every movement he made. He laid his hand on my breast and massaged it. It felt like the worst feeling ever.

He crawled on top of me. "No... stop!" I begged.

"Be quiet." He ordered. I didn't register the words in my mind.

"Don't do this!" I yelled. "Please!"

He smacked me across the face. "I said be quiet." His face slowly moved towards mine. His lips met mine. I tried to keep my mouth closed, but his teeth clamped down on my lip. I opened my mouth quickly and let him move his tongue around on my teeth and down my throat. It felt sickening.

He began to gyrate and grind his body into mine. Tears streamed down my face. I couldn't believe it was happening. I couldn't even stop it.

Soon, I felt him... inside me. It hurt so much. It felt like I was going to rip in two as he forced himself upon me. He moaned disgustingly. I just wanted it all to end.

"Good job," He mumbled roughly and got off of me. He pulled on some clothes and grabbed a suitcase from his closet. And he left.

I sobbed for a while before I realized I was left alone, tied to a bed with no way to let anyone know where I was. For the first hour I wondered about how I would escape or who would save me. Then I started to think about how I would die. Would it be dehydration? Starvation?

I began to cry again, thinking about my inevitable death. I felt myself drifting off into sleep. I tried to fight, remembering the last time I closed my eyes I ended up in an unfamiliar apartment trapped with a rapist. But my eyes won and I fell asleep. I woke up to a pounding noise on the door.

"Open the damn door!" Someone shouted. I heard an aggravated sigh and a pause.

"Come in the room!" I wanted to shout. "Help!" But I felt the sting of the smack again and decided against, worried that the man would appear and hit me again.

I heard a door open. "Time to pay rent." I voice called. The bedroom door opened and I was face to face with a short, angry man. I regretted wanting him to come in. I didn't want him to look at me. Maybe he'd be compelled to rape me, too.

He whipped out his cellphone and called for help. Within ten minutes, the apartment was crawling with policemen and EMTs.

One EMT came over to me and untied my bonds. She then gave me a blanket and helped me onto a stretcher.

"I'm going to take you back to the hospital and we'll do a rape kit there." I flinched at the word rape. Rape made it sound like it was worse than it already was. The word rape just sounds so bad. It sounds like a monster. "Then we can have your parents come and take you home."

I nodded and she pushed me down to the ambulance. A police officer sat in the back with me, asking questions. I gave him a description of my attacker and recounted what had happened. It took me a while and I began to tear up again. I just wanted the officer to go away and I wanted to huddle up under a rock and die. But I knew I'd never be left alone if I didn't tell the officer now. I just didn't want to get into a fight. I didn't want to have my way.

After the very awkward and painful rape kit, a nurse called my mom.

"What's this about?" She demanded when she entered the examination room.

"Nothing, mother." I sighed. I would have waited there for hours if it meant waiting for my dad. Or maybe I should have given the nurse Abbot's name. Anyone but my mom. I would have let Xavier come get me if it meat my mom didn't have to come.

"No. You will tell me." She ordered. "I get a call out of the blue that I needed to pick up my daughter from the emergency room while I'm consulting with a very important paying customer. I want to know why."

She would have at least known I was attacked if she had actually looked at my swollen lip and the bruise on my face.

"I hurt myself falling down." I lied.

"That doesn't warrant a trip to the emergency room."

"I thought I hurt my ankle and I wanted to get it checked out."

"It's obviously fine. You can't catch a cab back to Inglefield? Cut the bullshit, Genevieve."

"I was attacked." I told her.

"Okay, now you're really lying."

"I was kidnapped and attacked, mom!" I cried.

"By whom?"

"I don't know. The police are searching for him." I told her, the waterworks starting. Again. "I just want to go back to Inglefield. Please take me there."

"Come on," She commanded. A few minutes after we began driving, my mom spoke. "When they get this guy, I'll hire the best lawyer, alright?"

"Great," I told her in a monotone voice.

"I'm just trying to help. You don't have to be so rude."

I didn't say anything. I didn't want to get mad at her. I didn't want to fight. I just wanted to go home and sleep.

Mother dropped me off at the front of the girls' dormitory. I quickly raced to my room, avoiding everyone at all costs. The first thing that day went right when I reached my room and Alice wasn't in.

I got into my pajamas and crawled into my bed. It was half nine. The day had seemed longer. I felt as if it was one in the morning.

As I fell asleep, I prayed that I would wake up in the same bed. I prayed even harder that I wouldn't wake up at all. I didn't want to wake up and relive it all again. I didn't want to think about him. I didn't want to think about how I'll never be the same again. And I don't want to face everyone else. They may not know what exactly happened, but they'll figure it out. And then they'll talk about it all the time.

I want to be left alone. I want to sleep forever, safe from anything that can break me down.