I want to eat you like you're fucking edible

Journal,

"I think he's into boys," I thought out loud as I laid my head down into Marie-Claire's lap. She stared at the television screen and ran her fingers through my hair.

"Who?" she asked, bitting her lip. Pride and Prejudice was on- the scene where Mr. Darcy confesses that he's loved Elizabeth all along and Elizabeth rejects him. If she cried at such a sappy scene like this, I would never let her live it down.

"The orphan," I sighed, exasperatedly. "Thomas." Marie-Claire chuckled and looked down at me.

"You're not serious, right?" she asked, assessing me like I'd finally lost it.

"Not solely boys," I shrugged. "But he's definitely curious."

"And what led you to believe this, oh wise one?"

"I came out of the shower yesterday at gym class and he just stared. Straight at me. I don't even think he realizes that he's checking me out. Knowing him, he probably just thinks it's normal. But deep down..."

Marie-Claire threw her hands over her eyes. "LA LA LA. You are not sexualizing Thomas for me. Plus, people stare at you, Xavier. You're attractive. It doesn't mean they want to shag you."

"Yes it does."

Marie-Claire laughed and looked at me up and down. "Okay, yes it does. But that's because you're the Xavier clause."

"I have my own clause now?" I beamed. I'm sure my parents would be proud.

"You know how chicks are like "I don't like girls but I'd totally do Scarlet Johansson."? Well that's you. Guys who don't even like guys would do you."

"I'm not even that good looking," I shrugged. Marie-Claire gaped at me.

"Xavier Beckingham, shut your whore mouth," she exclaimed.

"I just travel with an aura of sexual tension. People look at me and think of sex."

Marie-Claire shook her head and sighed. "Please don't do anything stupid with Thomas. He's a good boy."

"Oh, I bet he would be."

"You just want to do this because he's the only teenager here that isn't steeped in sex. I know it's hard to believe, but there are guys that don't constantly think about sex. He has higher priorities," she said pointedly.

There was a shard of truth to this, but Marie-Claire was missing the bigger picture. Sure, I meant what I said about Thomas checking me out. But when he looks at her, it's something different entirely. He doesn't just stare at her boobs or her legs. His eyes are constantly glued to her smile and her eyes. When she makes him laugh, the smile remains on his face for the next hour. He always is helping her with things: helping her with cooking, helping her fix things, sitting in her dorm room and just talking to her while I'm off getting shit faced. Lust, I can deal with. It's not like Thomas is the first guy to stare at for too long, to "accidently" brush up against her. But this is something different from lust entirely.

"It's called love," Marie-Claire answered matter-of-factly. I turned toward her, gaping.

"Was I just thinking out loud?" I whispered.

"What? No, I was saying that there are other things in life besides sex, and that Thomas is interested in something else entirely. It's called love," Marie-Claire explained.

"Oh," I nodded.

If there was a guy in this school that make Thomas decide that guys are far better than girls, it's me. And this plan has to work.